Stopping the Divorce Proceess

Published: 18th April 2012
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The approach to stopping a divorce, is dependent upon several elements. For example, a great deal depends on how far things have gone down the line toward divorce as well as what your spouse feels about it as well. Where you reside also can make a difference.

If nobody has filed for divorce yet, then you could stop the divorce by simply agreeing with your spouse that you will both wait a bit before filing. Frequently, it is easier to get your spouse to wait , because it sounds like a solution to your relationship issues might be possible. But in fact agreeing to postpone only signifies that you are not divorcing for the present point in time.

Then you only need to continue the existing status quo while you work things out...and perhaps get some counseling. You cannot expect your spouse to agree to never divorcing you unless he/she has faith based reasons that you can rely upon.

If divorce papers have already been filed, then it is more complicated put your divorce on hold. Every US state and most countries in the developed world now allow for a 'no fault' divorce process...the state of New York being the last to accept it with legislation going through in late 2010. In some cases there must be a time of separation before the divorce becomes final. This means that in the end, it is just about impossible to stop a divorce by legal means nowadays. The court will in all probability approve the divorce at some point.

Divorces could possibly be contested or uncontested. An uncontested divorce happens when both sides have reached agreement on all details including division of property and child custody. Typically, attorneys are involved in assisting you to reach agreement on those considerations, and it may take considerable time to resolve everything before going to court. In some states delay may occur because the court is busy. However, an uncontested divorce in most cases will go through pretty fast once it makes it to court.

In the old days of 'at fault' divorces, it was theoretically possible to challenge and in many cases defeat a divorce action on the grounds that you were not guilty of the wrong doing that you were charged with...which would typically be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, etc. This became an agonizing process that ended in the history of the marriage becoming dragged out in court from both partners' points of view. Rarely was the defense successful so perhaps it is not such a bad thing that 'at fault' divorces are becoming a thing of the past.

With a 'no fault' divorce, if both spouses do not agree on all of the issues, the person filing might have to wait longer for the divorce to be finalized. The court will have to decide on any issues that have not been agreed, such as division of property. During this time frame, you have the opportunity to convince your spouse to attend marriage counseling and re-think the situation. For this reason, there can be some an advantage in contesting the division of property. However, it is usually wise to heed legal advice, and be conscious that if you ask the court to rule on property issues you could end up losing out.

Keep in mind that even though you may prevail and stop the divorce for right now, that will not necessarily mean that you and your spouse will continue living together. There may be a separation. If you can agree to stop the divorce process and seek marriage counseling together, there is a much greater possibility that your marriage will be saved.

Our author is the creator of How to Fix a Marriage and Marriage Issues...a professional writer and counselor specializing in attraction and building relationships based on love, tolerance, peace and harmony.

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